Love bite....

To help myself deal, I am thinking of this as a love bite. Boy, did she love me....

This is two doctor visits, an added urgent care visit, and two weeks later. She REALLY loved me!

And this poor dog, Raji, has to deal with me each day. My not-so-funny jokes, the meals I make, the company I keep, and the bed hogging I am famous for. But she seems to like me and slowly, but surely, I am falling in love with her.

But I am still sad, on the inside, where many can't see.

Sad, but don't worry

Dear family, friends, and co-workers,

Yes, I am sad. Heartbroken may be more accurate. I loved both Lambeau and GB with all my heart. I am so sad that they are gone. I know it is what I had to do after GB biting me, and the repercussions it had on Lambeau and her injuries. It doesn't make it any easier, but I know it's what is right.

If I cry, it's ok. If I am sad, it's ok. I will just need some time to heal. Not only emotionally, but physically. My leg hurts, and it reminds me every few hours that it is not healed. I am trying to not remember that incident as my last memory of GB. My heart hurts, but I imagine, thanks to a good friend, that they are in Puppy Heaven having the time of their lives! I have had a good dream about each dog, and I truly believe that was their way of letting me know they made it to Heaven safely. Who knows, maybe my grandpa is even throwing the ball with them??? He would have loved their names, you know.

I have placed a picture next to my front door so I can say "goodbye girlies, love you" each morning, like I have since I got them. I know they are looking over me and protecting me each day. I don't think there will be a day that goes by where I won't think of them. Coming home to an empty house is the hardest right now. And sleeping without one of them near me.

Lambeau: I remember the day I met you at the Humane Society. Super cute puppy, full of energy. She was originally named Nala, but my mom and dad couldn't say it to well...and I had my heart set on naming my very first dog, all mine and only mine (haha) dog Lambeau. And I did, and I do not regret it. She was known as Ladmo to my dad (gotta love him), and she was a puppy her whole life. Always had that puppy way. I loved after giving her a bath, the cuddling time she shared with me. And each time I walked outside, she went after my shoes-no matter what. I know I should have corrected her, but I enjoyed our special time together! Lambeau loved our other family dogs, and got to go camping a few times and roam around with the crew. I was lucky to have had Lambeau in my life! I didn't rescue her, she rescued me. I wanted to keep you forever and I am sorry I didn't have you longer-I should have done more to save you! I love you, Lambea (aka Shmambeau, Lamby).

GB: We went to lunch with Meg and her mom, and little did we know we'd bring you home. Originally meant for Jared, since he had recently lost a dog, but after he couldn't do it my mom and I realized we couldn't leave this dog. She had me from the moment I played with her. Always so sweet, loved to put her head on my shoulder. I woke up many times with her head next to me on my pillow. GB was a huge cuddler, and followed me everywhere. I believe she still thought she was a puppy the way she wanted to get up on my lap and be loved. She never let me out of her sight! I tried to save her, but in the end I just couldn't. I hope she knows that even after all of this, I love her so much. Love you, GB (aka Gee-bee like in a French tone).

This one's for you....

AMANDA!!

I know you're feeling sad lately about our friendship but don't worry. You are stuck with me forever. And ever!

I am enjoying writing the maid of honor speech. It has really made me reflect on our friendship over the years. Remember when we first met? (Thank you, Jill Hildwine!!). Our first time hanging out....the movies, dinners, tv time. New Year's Eve in your apartment! The infamous cruise. Disneyland. You always being a text or phone call away. Makes me love you!

P.S. My mom loves your buffalo chicken dip and wanted me to tell you that :)

Lent

In case you didn't know it is the season of Lent! Typically we all try to give up something. Why? To show we can have sacrifices. I decided to go for something positive this year since-let's face it-I never make it through without cheating! Candy, chocolate, mountain dew have all been prior lenten sacrifices, but this year I went a different route. I wanted to do something good for someone else, each day. ( I really wanted it to be: do something good for someone else, each day, without getting any recognition...but this wasn't really working!! People like to say THANK YOU too much-such a problem, right??).

With the help of my dad, I was able to complete a MASSIVE good deed for our dear friend, Alice. She is such a sweet woman who has seemed to go through so many challenges these past few years. While driving by to check on her house, I noticed how overgrown it was. Enter the thought: I should pull weeds and clean it up for her. I soon realized I couldn't do it on my own. My dad was kind enough to help!!! (Seriously, he did help! No sarcasm in this one!!).

Hours later....it's done. And I have to say, it looks amazing!!

Happy heart day!!

I hope everyone is having a wonderful day full of love! I had such a great day with my students (and no, that's not sarcasm). They truly spoiled me! What an amazing bunch of kids.

My highlight of the day? The phone call I got a little while ago, my dad on the other line....asking me to be his valentine. Sweetest gesture I have ever heard from him, and I am so happy. Whoever my future "Mr" is will have a lot to live up to!!!

Organizing

I had wondered what I could blog about, and today it was pointed out (thanks, Meg!) that I can write about how much I love to organize. Love, love, love. Right now, I am really loving organizing the information I have into binders for school. We have adopted the new PLC way, and with it comes a lot of data, new information, and yes-an excuse to organize.

Nothing makes me happier after a day at work than taking a file of random papers and putting them in nice sheet covers, with tabs, and making a cover for the binder. I now have a nice stack of nicely organized binders--and it makes me happy :). I have even started making binders for my teammates! One of them mentioned that I could get a side job organizing offices, or use it as a back-up career....so, if anyone is in need of an office organizer, I am your gal! Just let me know!

This weekend I will tackle organizing my computer desk/office area. I believe that's the last room in the house I haven't fully gotten to...but I will this weekend! Should I post before and after pictures of the next binder I put together???

Hope everyone has a great night!

Ketchup time!

I haven't dedicated the time to write a blog post about the New Year (we are a whole day in, you know)....so why not do this now?

I love everything low-key. Not dressing up for things, relaxing, sleeping. So New Year's has been this for me for a very long time. In the past I've gone to an early dinner and movie, home and asleep before 10 am. I actually prefer this over the crazy, chaotic, every body's drunk and I lost who I was riding with major party. :) Go figure, right?

This year we were invited over to Joe's house, for a low key night. I loved it....around 10pm everyone was ready to go. We did stay til midnight so we could sip the champagne and hug each other, but soon after we were all on our way home!

Looking back at this past year, I am so happy. Major things happened, but nothing too terrible we couldn't handle. I am excited for what the new year will bring. I like the promise of good things to come, the optimism of life ahead. As I do this, I am reminded of what tomorrow will bring. Be prepared, the following is for me to express and get the sadness out.

I will never forget the day I found my grandpa, lifeless, sitting in his chair. It haunts me sometimes, and I have dreams of him coming back to life and living with me. Maybe this is a hope that he is doing well in his after-life, maybe it's a fear that I am not living up to his expectations. Either way, it's a recurring dream. And I hope it ends soon!

I prefer to remember the happy times; Papa teasing me about the dumb thing I said, Mama giving me a big hug and kiss and always being so loving. I guess it's holidays that do this to people, but tomorrow being a bad day for our family, it just brings it to the surface. I am so lucky to have had the memories and wonderful experiences with my family. I know there are many people out there that aren't as lucky.

To you and your family: enjoy the moments. The little ones. The ones that make you laugh, smile, melt your heart. Take time to be with family. Enjoy it!